Day 3: You Have Boundaries. But Are They Legit?

Undoing the Elephant Mindset is a 10 day challenge designed to help you identify the false boundaries you’ve created in your own life, recognize the deeper reasons you stop yourself from stepping outside those boundaries, and then break free from the ties that hold you back from living a life you are passionate about. What you’ll need: a notebook or blog or computer, a desire to reach for more in your life, and an open mind.

Day 3: You Have Boundaries. But Are They Legit?

Yesterday you identified the boundaries that you create around your goal and hopefully realized that in some way, you’re trying to protect yourself from something (failure? ridicule? rejection?). You have boundaries. We all do, really. Otherwise we’d all disregard red lights, quit our jobs on the first tough day, and tell everyone exactly what we think about them. Sometimes boundaries are legitimate, sometimes they’re not.

So today we’re going to either give power to or take power from some of our boundaries. Maybe you’ll realize that your desire to go skydiving is surrounded by legitimate boundaries that aren’t worth the risk, so you give a little power to them in this case and are ok with that. But in most cases you will probably realize that you need to take some power away from those boundaries. They tend to be power-suckers, you know. They like to be in control.

If you remain in a position of lesser power, you probably won’t ever attempt your goal. It will turn back into a dream and will seem farther and farther away from your grasp the longer you avoid it. But if you recognize that some of your boundaries are actually not even valid fears, you’ll take some power back and give yourself the confidence to move forward with your goal.

Today’s challenge:

Read back over your response to yesterday’s challenge. When you look at the worst case scenario of what could happen if you took a step towards your goal, does your response illuminate something about your false boundaries? How bad is this worst case scenario? Basically, ask yourself if it’s legitimate or if your mind created that worst-case scenario out of fear.

After reviewing your response from yesterday, write for at least 10-20 minutes and answer these questions for yourself:

  • If ____________ happened, I would not want to move towards my goal.
  • If ____________ happened, I would feel even better about moving towards my goal.
  • My top 3 false boundaries are:
  • Are they legitimate, or did fear generate them? If fear generated them, what am I afraid of? (Be honest with yourself.)
  • What is the likelihood of both the worst and best case scenarios happening?
  • Is your goal worth attempting even if you possibly will fail? Why or why not?
  • What will you get out of attempting your goal besides just reaching your goal?
  • Are your boundaries enough to stop you?

If you feel up to sharing, please leave a comment below. You can either write your entire day 1 challenge in the comments, or just give us an overview of your goal and some of the main points you wrote about. See you tomorrow for more Undoing the Elephant Mindset!


1 thought on “Day 3: You Have Boundaries. But Are They Legit?”

  1. I am a day behind on the challenge. Had a busy Sunday…but thinking over the questions from day 3 before I get a start on my Monday morning.

    1) If ____________ happened, I would not want to move towards my goal.
    I cannot think of a single event that would make me NOT want to be a successful freelance writer.

    2) If ____________ happened, I would feel even better about moving towards my goal.
    If I could start getting my daily work done quickly, if my blog readers and family members started showing more interest in my work, if I could find a few extra hours each week to work more on blog promotion, revenue share articles and blog posts….

    3) My top 3 false boundaries are:
    Thinking there is not enough time to get everything done that I need to do.
    Thinking that I cannot afford to take time away from clients that pay up-front to work on revenue share and blog work/articles.
    How easily I get stressed out over all the excessive work I have to do.

    3) Are they legitimate, or did fear generate them? If fear generated them, what am I afraid of? (Be honest with yourself.)
    Worry generates these boundaries, worry and the fear that bills will not get paid and my husband and I will sink a little further in debt.

    4) What is the likelihood of both the worst and best case scenarios happening?
    Both could happen. But the best-case truly has a higher likelihood.

    5) Is your goal worth attempting even if you possibly will fail? Why or why not?
    Yes, it’s worth it. Why? Because I need to finish something I have started…and even if I were to fail. I love to write. I would have experience under my belt that I could use to try to find other writing opportunities and maybe even a better career.

    6) What will you get out of attempting your goal besides just reaching your goal?
    Experience. Enjoyment.

    7) Are your boundaries enough to stop you?
    They might hinder me for a few hours…or a few days…but they won’t stop me, never completely.

    Like

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